babyfairy:

inthenameofpeacewemakewar:

meanmulatto:

British ppl rlly got thr short end of the stick could u imagine getting fucked by a brit “cheers love give us a cum” like absolutely not!!!!!

The upside is that, nine times out of ten, our accent is like liquid sex to most American women.  ‘Cause what would you rather hear? 

“Ay, baybee.  You got a fine ass.  You wanna go somewhere and fuck?” 

-or-

“You look positively radiant, my dear.  Would you like to stop for a cup of coffee somewhere on the way back to my place?”  

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Don’t Do That.

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officialunitedstates:

comattoze:

officialunitedstates:

dangerkeith3000x:

officialunitedstates:

i thought this post was a little controversial and would make all the homeschooled kids on here angry so im not going to post it

Home schooled is two words. Were you home schooled?

thanks but i did in fact see the giant swiggly red line but made the determination that i am a trendsetter in the modern english language and can therefore do what i please when i please on my blogosphere

As a homeschooler with a 3.6 GPA ..this pisses me off.

if you would’ve helped your mom with the chores a bit more she would have bumped that up to 3.8

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enoughtohold:

dadthinksdoctorwhoisacrimeseries:

enoughtohold:

a lot of people on this site are like, deeply existentially freaked out that they haven’t been in love by 19 or whatever, and are desperate for any explanation for this that might make it ok. i just want to say, you are completely ok, no explanation needed. this is MUCH more common than you think, especially if you’re not straight. you’re very very young. you’re 100% fine. if you want it, it will happen in its own time.

This sounds like some anti aro propaganda…

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Originally posted by danks-gif

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

fun fact! the producer of shrek based Lord Farquaad on his evil former boss, the CEO of disney, Michael Eisner. They even look the fucking same

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in real life Eisner is pretty tall. on the other hand, the shrek producer, Jeffrey Katzenberg, is quite short . Eisner, being an asshole, once infamously said of Katenzberg, “I think I hate that little midget.” 

so 5′0″ Katzenberg went and turned his asshole boss into a little person named Lord Fuckwad

yeah

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astrologieque:

astrology asks!!

pisces: do you have strange dreams?

aquarius: do you consider yourself to be rebellious and why?

capricorn: what did you want to be when you were a kid?

sagittarius: do you enjoy travelling?

scorpio: what’s your latest obsession?

libra: what’s your fashion sense like?

virgo: what is your biggest pet peeve?

leo: what was your first thought when you looked in the mirror this morning?

cancer: what was the last movie that made you cry?

gemini: do you make friends easily?

taurus: what’s your favourite comfort food?

aries: what was the last argument that you won?

sun: describe yourself in 3 words.

moon: what does your room look like?

rising: what do you like the most about the way you look?

mercury: what languages do you speak?

venus: what is your type?

mars: what is sex with you like?

jupiter: share some good news you’ve received lately!

saturn: what makes you feel safe?

uranus: do you have any tattoos or piercings?

neptune: have you ever had a paranormal experience?

pluto: worst way to die?

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pluginduck:

heckacute:

I went to high school with a kid who would only drink out of a baby bottle. He brought a large baby bottle to school every day. At first, we thought that he was using it to sneak alcohol or something, but he wasn’t. He would bring it filled with chocolate milk and then fill it up with Coca-Cola and Sprite during lunch. He’d buy a can of each and mix them together. Like I said, it was a large bottle.

I didn’t know the kid that well and I didn’t have any classes with him so I never really talked to him that much. I knew his name. His name was Kevin. Sometimes I’d see him at parties on the weekends. He still had his baby bottle. He would fill it with beer and rum.

He dated my sister’s friend, Emily, for a little while. I had known Emily for a long time. She had been a friend of my sister’s since they were five or six. They were really good friends. She spent a lot of time at our house for sleepovers and stuff. Sometimes she would pee the bed, but I never made fun of her for it. I think most older brothers would have loved the opportunity to make fun of their sister’s friend for peeing the bed and I think she really appreciated that I never mentioned it even though I definitely knew about it because after the sixth or seventh time, my parents started paying me to clean everything up instead of having to do it themselves.

I asked Emily why Kevin only ever drank out of a baby bottle and she said that she didn’t know. They had only been dating for a very short time at that point and she didn’t want to bring it up and offend him or anything. I asked her to tell me if she ever found out. They broke up right after that and I kind of forgot about it because Kevin stopped going to school. I don’t know if he transferred or dropped out, but I never saw him at lunch or any parties after that.

I hadn’t thought about him in a long time, but Emily happened to mention him while she was over at our house recently and I immediately remembered the baby bottle thing.

“Did you ever find out why he drank out of that bottle?” I asked.

“Oh yeah, he told me why,” Emily said. “He used it because he heard that babies that drink out of bottles for too long or drink sweet drinks out of them get really bad teeth problems. He wanted all of his teeth to go bad so that they would fall out and he would be able to fit a softball in his mouth. He said that he wanted to have the world record for being the first person to be able to put a whole softball in his mouth and he wouldn’t be able to do that with all of those teeth in the way.”

What the fuck did I just read